According to my Teenage Journal

  Part One

A couple nights ago, I found one of my old journals laying out with games, letters, and toys that Scarlett had scattered on the floor (that's how she expresses her creativity).  After we put the artist to bed and I cleaned up her mess so she could do it all again the next day, I decided to skim through my journal.

Instead of skimming I read it cover to cover.  Don't be so impressed, it's one of the teeny little YW Secret Sister gifts with flowers and butterflies on it, and I write sloppy and big. It covers a few little highlights of my life from April 9, 2007 (17 year-old-me)  to July 22nd 2010, shortly after I married one fine dude whom this post is dedicated to.

Brian (Brain) Green

 Ok, so everyone says that they married the man of their dreams, but can many emotionally, socially stable women say that they dreamed, nah, knew they were going to marry that man before they ever went on a date? Although I liked to deny it, my journal says that I was pretty sure this acquaintance of mine and I would be married one day, three years before we actually did.  And we didn't actually get together until year three.  Either I'm a control freak stalker, or I just had early revelation from God.  I think it's a little of both.

  A little background:

Brian and I met during high school at a Stake Youth Fireside through a mutual friend--at least I think that's why Brian spoke to me.  I was giving my friend a good back scratch during the talk, because that helps you stay alert and poised during church speeches.  Unaware that my actions were being watched from two rows back, Dude whispers, "Natalie.......Natalie!   Scratch my back!"  Obliviously I was taken off guard and politely embarrassed, but also prettay excited and impressed.  He was cute aaand he was a Junior, and had a creepy confident humor that seems to work for cute boys and not so much for older, balding strangers.   It was an immediate attraction, and I made note to talk to that weirdo again.

  Later on: 

After that our high school story gets pretty lame. There was occasional after school teasing, flirty waving, and I'm pretty sure he looked at me through teary eyes during the Weber High School Hymn during the Class of 2007's Closing Assembly.  AND once we went on a double date to mini golf, but he went with Taylor Deamer and I went with Austin Workman (both very cool people might I add), so I'm not sure that counts.

     

Blake and Brian at Wal-Mart after Graduation.

After Brian's graduation is when things started to heat up.  Maybe its because he was leaving on a mission that Sept so he needed a last summer fling.  He called me a few times to hang out/date (undefined) and I called him as well.  I think there were about 10 exchanges like this that failed, I had a volleyball tournament, he was shopping for mission clothes with his momma, etc.  Finally, one magic night at the end of the summer, he called and I left a rainy high school football game to come watch IRobot with him and his friends (see Blake pictured above).  We sat by each other and giggled and held hands for 10-20 minutes (mostly as a joke, as each of us was unwilling to blow our cover).  It was magical. And funny. And fun. 

  Jumping to conclusions:

Sept 9, 2007

"Today i went to Brian Green's farewell.  It was so fun to hear him talk. I've always had the biggest crush on him....We joke about how we like each other.  I told him how I was blushing when he winked at me from the stand.  When [I was leaving from the after-party at his house] he was like, "So Natalie, you're waiting for me aren't you?"  And I said, "Yes, of course." Sometimes I wonder when he's serious, haha.  But really, he is the TYPE of guy I would like to be married to, someone a lot like him."

....I wrote this on very playful grounds, but I invested in these words 100%.  To reinforce this fact, I told my YW leader Natalie Jensen about how I'd like to marry someone like Brian Green (which I don't remember doing) and word got out to his mom Maureen.  She says she thought, "Hmmm, who is Natalie Davis?"  She told me this story later when Brian and I started dating. Guys, I am so weird. Some of these entries are quite embarrassing, but it makes this post more dramatic, so onward ho!

Brian on his mission in Guyana.

Oct 8, 2007

"Brian and I have been writing each other about every week.  Before he left, the night before actually, he called me to come say goodbye, but I couldn't go because my parents wouldn't let me go after he was set apart.  So we talked on the phone for a long while and I wrote him a list of things for him to remember.  1. I told him I've had a secret crush on him forever. (He said "Me, too," and I didn't believe him).  2. Come back a better man (so I can marry him of course).  3. I'd be praying for him and 4. Be Safe....Brian writes some funny letters."  

Nov. 31, 2007

"Some days I miss Brian Green more than ever.  There's just so much opportunity there. And HOPE. Hope is a major factor indeed."

January 5, 2008

"Brian writes me about every week and his letters are so awesome.  He is so awesome.  Every letter I get makes me fall in love with him more.  He makes me laugh--so hard.  He is a charming kid and he never really tries to be.  Even when he's being obnoxious, he's so adorable and fun-loving.He is one of the best people I've ever met, and I would love to marry him.  But I'm of course not saying that that'll happen for sure.  Who knows, maybe I'll meet someone else who knocks my socks off. 

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be putting to much of my thought, effort, and heart into having a future with Elder Green.  Its hard not to, but he is on a mission and I know that I change so much over time."

Sorry, that was a little...gross.  My journal me is kinda serious.  

  Fast forward a couple years:

Our writing was prime for about 3 months, we wrote on and off for about 6 months, then we made an unspoken mutual decision that we were both bored.  He sweated and served his tail off in the Caribbean, and I graduated and went off to college and dated whomever asked me out (mostly).  I seriously can't turn down a free meal or a fun activity. 

One such fun activity: Rope Swing At Pineview.  I just really like this picture.

I even got into a couple semi-serious relationships with some pretty good marriage-material men, but for some reason no one added up to what I thought that I COULD have with my Brian Green ideal.  I remember trying to explain that to someone, and we both thought I was being unrealistic. I was going to end a pretty good relationship now, so I could see if I really did end up loving this guy, or see if he even was interested in me.  Following these whims, I became free and available the month before he came home.