House House House.

Okay Okay Okay, so we took a huge leap and took on a fixer upper.  Well, half a fixer upper, I'm referring to the basement apartment in which Mona has used like an abandoned storage unit for 10 or more years

It was like running through hip-deep mud trying to close with Mona.  In the end, she got her "30 days" after closing to "move out", which she claimed she wasn't going to need.  Well, when she finally came around with a trailer full of her mother's old  things (her mother died a couple weeks after she closed, so she came up to IA from TX, signed our paperwork, went to WI for her mother's funeral and to take some of her belongings, then came back with an already filled trailer), and took a week downstairs  to "clean up" and "pack".  

 I was very relieved that we were on good terms when she got here, but we seriously wanted her to get a move on and maybe, I don't know, get help! She's a 70ish year old woman who must do everything herself and pay little or nothing for things I'd deem necessary in life. And I am cheap, too, just saying. So this is what the house looked like the afternoon after she left. 

So. Much. Crap.


Where to start, you ask? Overwhelming for this pregnant, puking, stay-at-home mother of two.  But I started by filling 13-gallon-sized garbage bags of mostly disposable items she seemed to have a fondness for collecting.  That evening I filled 5 of them and still barely made a dent.  It was rough.

Luckily we have a big dumpster behind our backyard--that belongs to our neighboring apartment complex, with no complaints to our using it so far.  Our plan was to have a garage sale ASAP, but Brian had to go out of town that weekend for his good friend David's wedding. So, we pushed it back to the first cold week in November- Iowa was strangely blessed with a record warm November. Bummer.  But heck we made about 125 bucks total out of some Mona stuff, so that's successful enough for me.

We had this stuff out on our lawn for about two weeks, giving it away here and there, in fact, Brian and I pick up that huge entertainment center and carried it to the house with the green door pictured below. It was a good workout, and so glad that my friend could use it.

I had no idea this was a sewing machine. She was using it as a microwave stand.  Classy. Sold it for $20.

Haha, we totally sent this to Scarlett's cousin for Christmas. I hope he liked it, I hope it works!

Brian had to destroy this heavy duty Mona-constructed closet in the corner in the room to get it out.  It was a huge pain, but I'm so glad its gone, it took up a ton of room!


One morning a week and a half later, I was bewildered to find all of the stuff gone from our front lawn.  When I woke up, Brian told me to look outside and I thought someone had come and stolen it--which would've been totally great.  Brian couldn't get back to sleep at 3 am that morning, so he decided to pack it into our CR-V and took a couple trips to the dumpster-all before 7 AM! It cost like $12 total. So much work, but at least it wasn't expensive!

Christmas 2016

Even though December was a pretty crappy and disappointing month, this Christmas was the best yet.  It was seriously so magical with a 3 year old leading the way and a 18 month old following suit.

 Our tree and nicely wrapped presents.  (In years past I've hardly wrapped anything, so this is kind of a big deal.

 We opened our Christmas PJs a little early from Grandma Davis.  They demanded to wear them immediately

 Here's some cute crying pictures to get a little perspective.

Here was one of the three snow storms we had this year. It has been the most mild winter!  Record Highs in November and February!

 Scarlett and Alice posed with Brian's Reddit Secret Santa gifts. He does that exchange every year now.  He got a Jazz hoodie, this little figurine, and a Period Table for the new baby-- sweet.

 On Christmas morning, I got inspired to fake a little Santa magic so I set up some stocking and lights downstairs.  You can see our old floor! Cute.

 Grandma Green made those mermaid blankets. They are so fun and so ADORABLE.

 I had them decorate a little tree downstairs too, just for fun.

 Then we opened more presents upstairs.  WOOHOO!

 It was a Sunday so they held Sacrament meeting. We were so late, but we were there.

December

Of course we had our annual Christmas party with the Guymon group with all the grad students in the program who work in Brian's lab. It's always good food and we always clean out at the White Elephant because we get to play with all four of us!  And, we always lose early in the fuse ball and ping pong tourney. Tradition.

 Alice had a poop-mergency and had to change into one of Kailee's old soccer shirts. Kailee is a Laurel in our ward who I get to see in Young Women's. Alice looked like a cute little boy, but what else is new.

 Scarlett got a cool finger hand.  Excellent White Elephant.

 The boyz.

 The next Monday was my birthday.  I tried making my own cake and I spilled it out and it crumbled all over the oven.  I had to go to the store for a re-do and this one turned out lovely with Brian and Scarlett's help. I guess you're not supposed to make your own birthday cake. I'm 27 now. Still feel like I'm 16 most the time.

 HBD MOM :) Snowflakes. Butterfly.

 In this picture on my birthday I was 15 weeks pregnant.  I was just starting to get my energy up and had finally ceased to throw up daily at week 14.  Ugh, it was so so hard on me and the girls.  I was rather nervous that this pregnancy was so weirdly nauseating.

 The next day, my fears were realized when my Dr couldn't find a heartbeat.  She told me it was not unusual to have a tiny 15 week baby hide out in a nicely stretched uterus, so I stayed positive, but prepared for some bad news, deep down.  We got an ultrasound tech to check and I could tell right away that there was no life.  I knew it.  It was awful.  I called Brian and he biked straight from his office to the clinic to come home with me.

Sweet Little Baby 

   I was so frustrated and confused and scared that there were some serious issues with me since I was already into the second trimester and that this had already happened to me once.  We decided to schedule and D & C and I confided in my YW Presidency.  I'm so glad I didn't keep it to myself.  We had so many thoughtful treats, meals, and notes at our door the next day.  And I had lots of family to greive with.  I feel like it took a month for me to stop crying every time I thought about it.  It was so hard to move on, especially after the 4 months of sacrifice and hope it took for us to get there. I really wanted and believed we were having a boy.
  I thought about writing my tormenting thoughts down much earlier as they kept rolling and rolling on in my head, but I didn't and I wish I had.  I learned that a lot of people really care about me, which surprised me after suffering through quite the lonely experience of feeling sick all the time.  I chatted with my mother and mother-in-law, sisters, and one of my best friends I haven't talked to in a long time. Now I have so much admiration for people who have true compassion, who cry with the crying, who truly empathize to others' feelings.  In the future, I want to be more like that for my friends.
  I prayed. A lot.  Constantly. Asking if we could get pregnant again.  Asking if we were connected to this little boy or girl that we could have met in June and lost.  I was skeptical of my answer. But while on the phone with a friend who had also experienced the unseen/misunderstood loss of pregnancy, she mentioned she had read something written during Brigham Young's time presiding over the church.  A woman asked about the future of her unborn deceased baby's spirit and the church leader replied, "The mother knows."  After that I realized I'd been feeling a peace and awareness of this baby's real and timeless connection to me for a while now.  I don't know how it will be, but I know I will meet him, and know him (or her).

  As for the other question: "Will we ever have another baby?", I'm trying not to worry and put my faith and trust in God.  Nothing happens without faith, and I've been told that God won't put us through anything we cannot handle.  President Euchdorf said in his talk Fourth Floor, Last Door that in the end, " All will be made right. All will be well. "